Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry Bilbo_Baggins hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(207): View more from Maine

We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.

Fav 30 2026 809
share tweet
(202): View more from Washington, DC

Odds of those being real?

(614): View more from Ohio

One in who gives a fuck

Fav 91 5282 935
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(480): View more from Arizona

Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?

(774): View more from Massachusetts

Someone just got laid.

Fav 17 9767 1649
share tweet
(306): View more from Saskatchewan

They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.

Fav 24 10561 1388
share tweet
(201): View more from New Jersey

The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.

Fav 15 3044 1091
share tweet
(817): View more from Texas

I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"

Fav 5 2599 1275
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(914): View more from New York

It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional

Fav 2 823 2348
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(224): View more from Illinois

We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"

Fav 2 746 269
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(203): View more from Connecticut

Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.

Fav 0 37 14
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT