So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
