i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Randomize
