So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
