I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
