Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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