Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
He had one of those small greek statue penises
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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