I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
