On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
