I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
operation harelip BJ is a go
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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