So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
