wanna go halves on a baby?
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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