I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
