Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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