after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
