While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
