I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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