Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
