Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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