This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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