the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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