Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I think my fart just growled at me.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
