Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
