i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
