It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Terrible idea I love it
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
