hotel room ftw
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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