I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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