Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
