you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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