She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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