I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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