After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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