I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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