Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize