I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
