Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
