What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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