READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
