Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
