Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize