I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I have tasted many bathrooms
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
