there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
My cat gives me a boner
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
