my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize