you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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