clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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