my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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