Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
