at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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