she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
You did what with his pubic hair?
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