why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
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