I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
