I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
