Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
