I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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