i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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