I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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