just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
