i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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