I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
