Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
COCAINE IS GR8
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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