dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
