you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
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