i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
