Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Randomize
