For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
