Ambien. No doubt about it.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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