Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
