...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
