i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
