Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize