i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I can't turn off my feet"
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
